How to Start Showing Up as Yourself Again
- Victoria L. - Holistic Midlife Strategist
- 2 days ago
- 2 min read
(Even If You Forgot Who That Was)
For many of us there’s a moment in midlife when you realize:“I don’t even know who I am anymore.” It's not loud or dramatic, but quietly devastating.
You’ve spent so many years doing what’s expected, holding everyone else together, pushing through fatigue, putting on the smile, that somewhere in the mix… YOU vanished.
It doesn’t happen overnight. It happens over what can feel like decades. It’s a slow unraveling.
The clothes don’t feel like you.The job drains you.Your laughter feels unfamiliar.Your mirror shows someone who looks… tired. Lost. A little empty.
You start asking questions like:
“When did I stop feeling excited?”
“Why am I always so exhausted?”
“Who was I before all this?”
And most importantly: “How do I get her back?”
The truth? You don’t “get her back.”
You meet her again—for the first time.
Because that girl from your twenties and thirties? She was doing her best with what she knew.
But the you of right now? You’ve survived. You’ve evolved. You’ve shed a thousand skins.
This isn’t about going back to who you were.It’s about rising into who you’re becoming.
Here’s how I started showing up again:
Not perfectly. Not all at once. But on purpose.
I stopped apologizing for needing space.Even 10 minutes of stillness became sacred.
I moved my body out of love, not punishment.My workouts turned into walking meditations, yoga, sacred sweat—not hustle culture.
I changed the way I got dressed.Out went the “meh” clothes. In came the linen, the softness, the me-ness.
I made space for my own voice again.Journaling. Podcasting. Writing. Speaking the truth out loud—finally.
I let myself take up space, even if it made others uncomfortable.Because shrinking wasn’t serving anyone.
Want to start showing up again? Start here:
Read my book Chaos Clarity and Confidence: Finding YOU Again. It’s the real, messy, beautiful story of what it looks like to lose yourself—and find someone even stronger in the process. It’s not a “how-to.”It’s a “you’re not alone.”It’s a soft place to land and a powerful place to rise from.
This isn’t a comeback. It’s a becoming.
As we close out July and head into August let this be the month you start again—not for anyone else, but for you.
You don’t need to be fixed.You need to be found—by the woman who’s been whispering inside you this whole time.
Your Turn:
Add a comment below and tell me—what’s one way you’re showing up differently now?Then grab your copy of Chaos Clarity and Confidence, and let’s rise—together.
📚 Join the book club and reconnect with women who get it
👑 Follow along @victoria_lifestrategist for daily doses of midlife truth + unapologetic self-expression
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